Is it bad to let my 3 week baby sleep in the bed?
Chrissy Waller asked:
I am 18 and new at all this. his daddy does know more than me but i feel stupid asking all this!
I am 18 and new at all this. his daddy does know more than me but i feel stupid asking all this!
It seems like the only way to get my baby to sleep is when his head is resting on my arm. Does it make them reliant on sleeping in my bed? I dont want to make it where he WONT sleep anywhere else.
And if you move him at all he will wake up! He is an extremely light sleeper!
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At this age, if you are enjoying it and your baby seems to be, I don’t see any harm in it. However, you should have your baby sleeping where you’d like him to sleep most of the time by three months of age.
I hope this helps! Congrats!
yes because one of u could roll over on him and crush him he could get his face turned into your blankets or pillow and smother and your bed dosent have the firm support he needs
Try looking up co-sleeping.
if you dont break it soon it will start a bad bad habit…my sister is almost 9 and still sleeps with my mother when my dad is working… its a bad habit that starts early
Well, if he is only 3 weeks i would allow it. Once he grows older you don’t want him depending on it. It may lead to a bad habit.
Of course it isn’t bad. All mammals sleep with their infants. It is healthy, normal, convenient and promotes bonding. Humans are the only animals that put their babies in cages to sleep. Do what feels right and gets everyone the most rest.
I wouldnt say its bad but Im gonna try like hell to not have my lo sleep in my bed with me and my DF. I would try to get him in his own bed as soon as you can. The earlier the better. Good luck and congrats!
no i don’t think it’s bad. that was the only way my daughter would sleep. she slept in my bed until she was 4 months old. once they start getting older you can start to teach them to sleep in their crib.
however, if you do choose to have your baby sleep with you, be aware of safety hazards like pillows and sleeping covers, just make sure your baby can’t fall off the bed or that you or your boyfriend don’t roll on top of your baby (which to me is ridiculous because when i slept with my child, i never even moved from my spot all night long)
once she started getting older and moving around it became a hazard for me to have her on the bed because she could roll right off.
in short, it’ll be okay. your baby will be able to break the habit later with no repercussions.
like i said, mine slept with me until 4 months old, every single night.
now she is 8 months and ALWAYS sleeps in her crib, and now she is sleeping through the night with no problems.
good luck.
dont put blankets or anythign he could use to cover up his head. like a stuffed animal. put him n a crib. he will cry alot but dont spoil him bc if u do it will be all he does. mom babysits and she knows when babies get spolied. she has had 7 seven kids me being one of em. and one baby she has is 8 weeks old and it always gets carried to fall asleep so guess what happens when she comes to my house, well mom doesn’t spoil her by holding her to fall asleep she lays her down in a crib and sometimes she will cry for a hour or more striaght so i ask u would u like listening to that? srry for such much info just waiting for someone to answer my question.
Some research has linked an increase in sudden infant death syndrome with the increase in bed sharing. It can be dangerous as you can roll in your sleep or readjust blankets or pillows in a dangerous way. At the hospital they tell you not to let them sleep with a blanket or pillow until they can roll over on their own, and that’s in their own crib. It’s not worth the risk.
They do make baby beds that have three walls, the fourth side open to put against your bed. I would recommend one of these so you can be close to your baby but safe. It also makes late night feedings much easier.
right now its fine just remember the risks for sids and make sure there isnt anything around that cant smother the baby also be aware not to roll over or push the baby. otherwise enjoy getting sleep i also have a 3week baby and she also sleeps with me at the moment i also have 4 other girls and i learned right away that if you do let your baby sleep with you make sure that at about 3mo you have them start sleeping in there own bed cause by then they know and it will become difficult to move them good luck and congrats want more advice or need help feel free to email me
First of all, it IS bad, BUT I do it, too lol. It’s the only way I get any sleep at all. The main concern is that it increases the risk of death by SIDS. You could smother the baby in his sleep. I sleep with my son’s head on my arm, because I don’t roll over or anything like that. But I would never lay him next to me because I’m afraid if he’s not on me I might smother him. If you’re going to let him sleep with you, make sure that you don’t have any blankets near his face. You should try really hard to get him to sleep other places, even if it’s in his carseat. My twins slept with me when they were babies and it took YEARS to get them out of my bed, and they still end up in there with me by morning most days lol. Good luck!
um well if you you keep him on the bed don’t give him stuff animals and let him lay on his back only!
i think its fine
but you should check him every few hours
well he can go on your shoulders but don’t always let him sleep on your shoulder are he will get use to it and you going to have a sore shoulder
I still co-sleep on occasion with my 10 month old. As long as you feel comfortable doing it then you should do it. My son would only sleep in my arms until he was about 10 weeks old or so. He is getting better with sleeping in the crib and alot babies will take the crib when older. If you don’t feel safe co-sleeping get a arms reach co-sleeper.
No it isn’t bad. My son has been sleeping next to me since he came home. Even in the hospital he would not sleep alone. I guess we created a very bad habit for him but I do love having him sleep next to me and to cuddle with. BUT I cannot get him to sleep in the crib. Not even for a nap. He is 11 months old now so I guess we will have to go straight to the toddler bed. And I have a friend who is really struggling with her 2 year old with this.
My advice to you is do what is best for you so you can get as much sleep as possible so you can take care of your baby – and make sure it is safe (Duh!) and try to get him to sleep in the crib by himself for naps or in the early evening when you aren’t ready to sleep yet. I wish I would have done this.
note: I am still breastfeeding and he still wants a midnight feeding so it is very convenient to have him right next to me.
it’s not bad at all. co-sleeping is safe if you do it correctly, without loose blankets or pillows that could move up and suffocate the baby. I’ve been co-sleeping since my baby was about that age, and believe me, you, your significant other, and your baby will get muuuch more sleep this way. you won’t roll over on him! people who say that haven’t tried rolling over with their arm out to the side of them. you know your baby is there subconsciously. just don’t drink because you’ll be less aware of what you’re doing – or sleep in the same clothes if you’ve been smoking, because that increases the risk of SIDS.
try co-sleeping until he gets into a more regular sleep pattern and then you can start doing things to make him sleep in his crib. mine is 8 weeks old and he’s not sleeping through the night yet, but he generally goes to bed around 8pm and wakes up at 9am. we put him in his bassinet at 8pm now and he’s fine. he wakes up to feed around 12 and I put him back in his bassinet unless he’s really fussy. then he comes in the bed! we’re taking it slowly and letting him become comfortable with sleeping by himself when he’s ready. he sleeps really well now without waking up all the time – who knows if that’s because he’s in the bed sometimes with us, but I think it is.
so that’s my story, lol. it’s not bad! I love co-sleeping. waking up to my baby smiling in the morning is the best wake up ever.
When my baby was around that age he would only want to sleep in the arms so he had to sleep in the bed as well. He was an extrememly light sleeper too. He was like that for about the 1st mth and 1/2. All you need to do is be careful not to hurt him. Alot of babies are like that and will grow out of it when they soon begin to develope a better sleep habit were you can place him or her in his crib. I didn’t get much sleep around that time but it will get better.
mother of a 4mth baby boy; 17 yrs. old
Good for you, nothing wrong with this at all, I spent weeks with my daughter cradled in my arms, They are so little for such a short time, take advantage of it, it doesnt last long!
We co-slept with our babies. It worked for our family/our household. Do what works for you. You won’t roll over on him–you’ll develop a sixth sense as to where he is.
If you want to try to move him, put a baby blanket under him in your bed. Them move him and the baby blanket all at once. The blanket will feel and smell familiar, thereby comforting him.
As long as you are sleeping in a bed that has been baby proofed and not a couch, chair, or water bed. And as long as you aren’t a smoker, morbidly obese, have a sleep condition, or take medication that effects your ability to wake then its safe.
Safe cosleeping is safe, unsafe cosleeping is unsafe.
———
Why babies should never sleep alone: A review
of the co-sleeping controversy in relation to SIDS,
bedsharing and breast feeding
If the body indicates a need for food, treating it like a habit and disregarding it will not make the hunger go away. Ignoring the sensation of wanting to lie down and sleep will not cure one forever from having to sleep eight hours a day.
But if one is in the habit of putting his keys in his right pocket, there need be only a worn-out pocket to change the habit from putting the keys in right to the left pocket.
The child who seeks his parents’ bed at night is expressing a basic need. And this need must take its own time and pace for satisfaction.
The child who is thus allowed to be with his parents will gradually mature to being satisfied with sleeping elsewhere, usually seeking the companionship of another member of the family. Should this child choose to sleep alone, it might do well to be aware that he has not transferred his seeking security from his parents or siblings to an inanimate object. If the child wants to sleep with his parents, it means he needs it. If he crawls into his parents’ bed but then is content to be taken to a sibling’s bed, it may mean that he was in the habit of going to his elders’ bed.
For some strange reason we tend to think that to satisfy a child’s need is to make it into an unbreakable habit, where in truth the exact opposite is true.6
When our children develop a “good” habit, one that suits us, we are afraid it is not going to last. But when our children develop a “bad” habit, one that does not suit us, we are afraid it is going to last forever. So many people are afraid that their children will not grow up. We are told to feed them solids with a spoon at three weeks of age, lest babies will never learn to eat solids, let alone with a spoon. We are told to toilet train them when they are one year old or they will never quit wearing diapers. We are told to begin to discipline them at one month, otherwise they will never listen to us. We are told that children must always sleep in their own bed or they will always want to sleep with us. It is commonly believed that babies need to be weaned by the mother. And yet when weaning is left totally up to the child, it happens in a natural, healthy, and relaxed way. At the time the child no longer needs direct physical contact with his mother, then he weans himself from the breast. Likewise, parents’ experiences indicate that the healthy child will wean himself in time from the parental bed.
Children should be given the credit that, provided the home environment is healthy, they will mature. As each need is fulfilled at each stage, they will move on and become more mature. (We did. Let’s hope.)
If the body indicates a need for food, treating it like a habit and disregarding it will not make the hunger go away. Ignoring the sensation of wanting to lie down and sleep will not cure one forever from having to sleep eight hours a day.
But if one is in the habit of putting his keys in his right pocket, there need be only a worn-out pocket to change the habit from putting the keys in right to the left pocket.
The child who seeks his parents’ bed at night is expressing a basic need. And this need must take its own time and pace for satisfaction.
The child who is thus allowed to be with his parents will gradually mature to being satisfied with sleeping elsewhere, usually seeking the companionship of another member of the family. Should this child choose to sleep alone, it might do well to be aware that he has not transferred his seeking security from his parents or siblings to an inanimate object. If the child wants to sleep with his parents, it means he needs it. If he crawls into his parents’ bed but then is content to be taken to a sibling’s bed, it may mean that he was in the habit of going to his elders’ bed.
For some strange reason we tend to think that to satisfy a child’s need is to make it into an unbreakable habit, where in truth the exact opposite is true.6
When our children develop a “good” habit, one that suits us, we are afraid it is not going to last. But when our children develop a “bad” habit, one that does not suit us, we are afraid it is going to last forever. So many people are afraid that their children will not grow up. We are told to feed them solids with a spoon at three weeks of age, lest babies will never learn to eat solids, let alone with a spoon. We are told to toilet train them when they are one year old or they will never quit wearing diapers. We are told to begin to discipline them at one month, otherwise they will never listen to us. We are told that children must always sleep in their own bed or they will always want to sleep with us. It is commonly believed that babies need to be weaned by the mother. And yet when weaning is left totally up to the child, it happens in a natural, healthy, and relaxed way. At the time the child no longer needs direct physical contact with his mother, then he weans himself from the breast. Likewise, parents’ experiences indicate that the healthy child will wean himself in time from the parental bed.
Children should be given the credit that, provided the home environment is healthy, they will mature. As each need is fulfilled at each stage, they will move on and become more mature. (We did. Let’s hope.)
The same is true of sleeping. Human children are designed to be sleeping with their parents. The sense of touch is the most important sense to primates, along with sight. Young primates are carried on their mother’s body and sleep with her for years after birth, often until well after weaning. The expected pattern is for mother and child to sleep together, and for child to be able to nurse whenever they want during the night. Normal, healthy, breastfed and co-sleeping children do not sleep “through the night” (say 7-9 hours at a stretch) until they are 3-4 years old, and no longer need night nursing. I repeat — this is NORMAL and HEALTHY. Dr. James McKenna’s research on co-sleeping clearly shows the dangers of solitary sleeping in young infants, who slip into abnormal patterns of very deep sleep from which it is very difficult for them to rouse themselves when they experience an episode of apnea (stop breathing). When co-sleeping, the mother is monitoring the baby’s sleep and breathing patterns, even though she herself is asleep. When the baby has an episode of apnea, she rouses the baby by her movements and touch. This is thought to be the primary mechanism by which co-sleeping protects children from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. In other words, many cases of SIDS in solitary sleeping children are thought to be due to them having learned to sleep for long stretches at a time at a very early age, so they find themselves in these deep troughs of sleep, then they may experience an episode of apnea, and no one is there to notice or rouse them from it, so they just never start breathing again. Co-sleeping also allows a mother to monitor the baby’s temperature during the night, to be there if they spit up and start to choke, and just to provide the normal, safe environment that the baby/child has been designed to expect.
We spend so much time dreaming of what our children will be and very little time realizing what they are.
Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that human evolution is like a football field. Human beings as a genus start at the far end of the field, and we as a species show up at about the opposite 10 yard line. At about the one inch line ( and that’s generous) we as an industrial society show up. Why am I rambling about this? Because we have to understand that the way we do things is a new idea…but the babies we bring into this world don’t know about the way we do things. They are programmed to do things that human babies have been doing for thousands of years.
And human babies are really vulnerable. If you’ve ever seen what baby elephants or horses can do at birth, you know that they can walk shortly after birth, and are running soon afterwards. Why can’t humans do that? Well, if we waited until the brain was mature enough for our kids to walk, the baby’s head would be too big to come out safely. We don’t need to run to stay safe. Our gestation period is designed to make sure that our kids arrive in the world with their future intact– our kids arrive in the world when it’s safest for the brain to come out.
[...]
Sleeping Arrangements
The choice of where our children sleep affects (and there is research to show all of this): breastfeeding duration, feeding frequency, infant sleep position, arousal patterns, temperature, carbon dioxide levels, crying, heart rate, parental emotional expectations.
Babies who have more skin to skin contact with their parents show better oxygen delivery, less frequent crying, higher temperatures, better weight gain, better digestion and less physiologic markers of infant stress. (It’s why kids who are held more have less colic.) So, based on that, it makes sense that more contact with mom and dad makes for a more physiologically sound child.
I say whatever gets you and baby the most sleep is what you should do! He is too young to get reliant. My son would sleep best in my bed for the first month, and after that he was happy enough to sleep in his bassinet.
He is now 3 months old and sleeps in his cot ALL night. But he still loves sleeping with his mummy and daddy.
But all in all, if he is sleeping there and you are happy for him to be there, then I can’t see anything wrong with it
From birth-8 months my daughter either was in my bed or her bassinet right beside my bed at night. depending what mood i was in, sometimes half the night here half the night there. she was always in her crib for day sleeps. At 8 months i set up a cot in her own room opposite my room. She started sleeping in it for day sleeps. She also started spending the odd night in there her and there. She is now 14mo and we go through fazes, sometimes she will spend a week in her cot everynight, othertimes she will be in my bed everynight. sometimes the first half in her cot, second half in my bed. Anyways what i am trying to get at is I have not created a spoiled rotten child who will not sleep anywhere but my bed! She will sleep anywhere! She knows and trusts that if she is not comfortable sleeping where i put her (be it in her cot, or a made up bed if we sleep at nanna’s) Then i WILL bring her in bed with me. It is important that your child trusts that you will meet their needs, whatever they may be.
Don’t feel stupid hon, this is a very good question and it’s wonderful that you’re so concerned with your new little boy! Co sleeping is wonderful if done safely. We practice it with our son and we wouldn’t have it any other way.
Why Do Some People Choose to Cosleep?
Cosleeping supporters believe — and some studies support their beliefs — that cosleeping:
* encourages breastfeeding by making nighttime breastfeeding more convenient
* makes it easier for a nursing mother to get her sleep cycle in sync with her baby’s
* helps babies fall asleep more easily, especially during their first few months and when they wake up in the middle of the night
* helps babies get more nighttime sleep (because they awaken more frequently with shorter duration of feeds, which can add up to a greater amount of sleep throughout the night)
* helps parents who are separated from their babies during the day regain the closeness with their infant that they feel they missed.
my 2 girls did sleep with me it is not bad just do not roll on him you could kill him.i know someone who did that her son was 6weeks old.my 1st baby would not sleep any were but with me.if she was not with me she would not sleep.my 2nd baby was not as bad but now she is 18mo old she will not sleep with me maybe every blue moon she will but not a lot.my 3year old still wants to sleep with me.
You just received some terrible advice that I really hope doesn’t scare or discourage you away from co-sleeping.
The only creditable good advice you received was from Mystic (she has facts to back it up) and Calebs Kisses Mommy.
Other then that, throw all that other horse sh*t fact less advice you were given right out the window.
Co-sleeping is a wonderful thing you are doing with your son. SIDS is actually decreased with a co-sleeping parent. As well as separation anxiety issues. Co-sleeping offers countless benefits.
As far as people scaring you into saying you will roll over on baby, not gonna happen. This doesn’t happen. Hearing cases of babies dying in their crib is something commonly heard of, while parents actually rolling over on their babies is not something commonly heard of, if any. There is not one documented case of a parent rolling over on their baby and smothering them while asleep.
The only times you should not co-sleep is while, you are heavily medicated, after consuming alcohol, or if you are extremely obese. While co sleeping, limit pillows, and limit blankets. Do not use fluff comforters.
My husband and I co sleep with our son until he was 6 months old. And it was wonderful. By 6 months, our son actually didn’t want to sleep with us anymore. He was confident and secure enough, that he knew if he needed us, we would be there, and moved to his crib with no problems what so ever. Co-sleeping creating later sleep habits such as not moving to a crib is a outdated myth, that unfortunately is still being passed along.
Both me and my husband loved co-sleeping with our son, and even though sleeping, were completely aware of our sons presence in bed. Do not underestimate your motherly instinct as to when you child is sleeping wtih you. My husband still wakes up in the middle of the night searching the bed for our son, even though he is 14 months and have been sleeping in his crib for quite some time, because he is still aware that their is a possibility our son was or may be in our bed because of his internal instinct.
Keep co-sleeping, its a wonderful bonding experience, as well as comforting to your son.
Please read these links, to help you better understand that co-sleeping is completely normal, natural, and safe!